Hilarious. Near all poets are still competing for the Kraft Mac & Cheese, i.e., a series of adjunct professorships at mildly competitive state universities and, occasionally, a one-semester substitute spot for a tenured professor on sabbatical.
A very entertaining story Ted. I've been there myself.
I once worked for an engineering company who wanted to re-brand themselves. They asked for a new acronym. Just for a joke a colleague put in the most sublimely ridiculous suggestion he could think of. It was almost an in joke. Surprise surprise he won and received a $1000 prize.
I think the moral of the story is never overestimate the sophistication of those sitting in judgement.
I feel you, man. I too chased after one of those elusive free cars (a Firebird). All I had to do was sell enough pots and pans. Needless to say, I had to settle for a used Tempest. But thanks to you I now see where I went wrong... I shoulda been a poet!
Ted, you're very good at the Kraft you chose.
A poem , so Krafted, a poet, so shafted
Could not have been easy, to be wheel-less....so cheezy.
Pearls before swine, Ted, pearls before swine.
"one cannot think well, love well, sleep well if one has not dined well" said Virginia Woolf after the Kraft mac and cheese
Hilarious. Near all poets are still competing for the Kraft Mac & Cheese, i.e., a series of adjunct professorships at mildly competitive state universities and, occasionally, a one-semester substitute spot for a tenured professor on sabbatical.
A very entertaining story Ted. I've been there myself.
I once worked for an engineering company who wanted to re-brand themselves. They asked for a new acronym. Just for a joke a colleague put in the most sublimely ridiculous suggestion he could think of. It was almost an in joke. Surprise surprise he won and received a $1000 prize.
I think the moral of the story is never overestimate the sophistication of those sitting in judgement.
Well at least I got something outta the Browning (thanks for your link!):
https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/robert-browning-attempting-to-recite-how-they-brought-the-good-news-from-ghent-to-aix-1889
and
https://lyricstranslate.com/en/robert-julian-yeatman-how-i-brought-good-news-aix-ghent-or-lyrics.html
and
When poets gather round to buff up their craft
And share with each other their upcoming draft
Outsiders who listen
Don’t know what they’re missin’
They think that all poets are gormless and daft
What I want to know,
is how do you like
your mac and cheese now,
mr. gioia
(with apologies, etc.)
This is absolute genius.
Hilarious, but very instructive nonetheless! 😂
I feel you, man. I too chased after one of those elusive free cars (a Firebird). All I had to do was sell enough pots and pans. Needless to say, I had to settle for a used Tempest. But thanks to you I now see where I went wrong... I shoulda been a poet!
the best writer on substack. and i don’t even know how to pronounce your name
The winning entry's author wrote about the experience. She submitted a Krafty crossword puzzle (see it at Google Books link: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Five_Pages_a_Day/nnQ5EAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=kraft+macaroni+sweepstakes+winner+1978&pg=PT46&printsec=frontcover
Unlike some composers, she has a Wikipedia article (Peg Kehret).
Like all good comedy, this piece reflects some universal truths. Like all GREAT comedy, it reminds us we've all been in exactly the same situation.
"...at my parents’ off-the-grid home on a dirt road in Sonoma county" kinda speaks legions :)
I like your poem.
And 1978. That takes me back.